The processional and recessional are the choreographed entrances and exits of the wedding ceremony, and they are the first and last things your guests will see. They set the tone of the ceremony and they resolve it. Both have a traditional order that exists for reasons of logic, not merely of custom. Understand the logic and you can adapt the order to your circumstances without losing its sense.
The processional is the entrance. In its traditional Christian form, it proceeds as follows. The officiant enters first, from the side, and takes their place. The groom enters next, from the side, accompanied by the best man, and takes his position at the front. The bridal party enters next, in pairs or singly, processing down the aisle. The maid or matron of honour enters last, alone. The ring bearer and flower children, if included, enter just before the bride. The bride enters last, accompanied by her father or the person giving her away, and the congregation rises.
The order of the bridal party is not arbitrary. The most junior attendants enter first; the most senior — the maid or matron of honour — enters last, closest to the bride. This places the bride's closest attendant at the front, nearest to her during the ceremony. If the bridal party is small, they may enter singly. If large, in pairs. The pace should be unhurried. The music should allow approximately thirty seconds per pair, or twenty seconds per single attendant. A processional that is too fast looks rushed. One that is too slow tests the patience of the congregation.
In a Jewish ceremony, the order differs. Both parents of the bride escort her down the aisle, and both parents of the groom escort him. The groom's party processes first, followed by the bride. The order within each party is a matter of family tradition. If yours is a cross-cultural ceremony, you may blend the two, but do so deliberately and explain the order in your programme so that your guests can follow.
For same-sex couples, the processional is a matter of personal preference. The couple may enter together, from opposite sides, or one may enter first and the other last. The principle to preserve is symmetry: whatever you choose for one, balance for the other, so that the ceremony feels composed rather than improvised.
The recessional is the exit, and it reverses the processional in spirit if not in detail. The couple exits first, together, as married. The bridal party follows, in pairs, in reverse order of their entrance — the maid or matron of honour and the best man first, the most junior attendants last. The parents follow the bridal party. The officiant departs last, or departs first by a side door, depending on the tradition.
The recessional should be quicker than the processional. The mood has changed. The music lifts. The couple walks at a pace that is brisk but not running. The bridal party follows at the same pace. The guests remain standing until the couple and their party have cleared the room, and then they are seated or directed to the reception.
One note on music. The processional music should build — a piece for the bridal party, a separate, grander piece for the bride. The recessional music should be immediate and joyful. Do not let your musician or DJ fade one piece into the next without a break. The silence between the processional pieces is part of the drama. Preserve it.